Power of a Good Bye

We have these moments,

Those that make us burst out in anger,

Frustation and fear.

The moments that we lose ourselves,

And let those feelings sweep us away.

You, see my friend,

This is what happened to someone so close to me.

The anger, frustation, and fear are all gone.

The love, hate, and condemnation are finally at rest.

As you soar on wings of Angels,

We, those you have left behind,

Will remember you as you once were.

So, as we remember who you were,

We are reminded of how the power of

Just one good bye,

Could penetrate our beings,

As if it were ten thousand.

-Jessica A. Clements Navarro (November 2, 2011)

Super Short Story #4

 It was like every other time she and her sisters had gone over to their grandparents house. Fun times in the backyard, playing ball with the cousins or ping-pong in the basement. The house was on a hilltop – over looking the valley. It wasn't very often that the girls got to see their grandparents, and Jackie felt that this time would be different. Unlike the other times they had visited, Jackie's parents had packed for an overnight stay. Now, this itself was strange because Jackie and the family lived about 30 miles away. But, it didn't phase Jackie in the least.

The girls; Jackie, Aubrey, and Melonie loved playing ball with the cousins. Especially since they had enough players for two whole teams. So, the girls went outside and played some with the cousins. But, what was happening side the house was something far different. The children didn't hear the screaming and yelling coming from the house.

“Kids, its time for bed!” Yelled their mother from the small porch.

The girls rushed into the house, clambered into their pajamas, and stood in line to give their Grandma and Grandpa a kiss on the cheek before heading into the room that they would spend the night in.

It was starting to get dark when Jackie heard a funny noise coming from the kitchen. She got up out of bed and tip-toed her way to where the hallway connected into the kitchen. What she saw there made her sick and furious. Her father was bent over the broken body of her Grandpa. What had he done? Jackie stayed where she was as she watched her father carry his father to the back yard. She quickly tip-toed to the big picture windows to see what her father was doing. She looked down and watched as her father took up a shovel, dug a hole, and buried her Grandpa.

With that, Jackie ran to her room and woke up her younger siblings. She motioned them to be quiet as they scrambled out the window. Where would they go? Jackie didn't know the answer but she knew that they had to get somewhere. The family wasn't safe, her father already proved that by killing their Grandpa. Jackie remembered a time where she felt safe, that one place was Mt. St. Helens. She didn't really understand why she was drawn to such a place, especially since there was no security or people that she could trust there.

The three girls ran towards the street. Just as they were to turn the corner to go down the hill, a car stopped.

“Do you three ladies need a ride?”

“Yes, sir we do. Our father just murdered our Grandfather, we need to get to Windy Ridge at Mt. St. Helens. If you could take us,” said Jackie as she nervously walked towards the car. What she didn't realize that it was her uncle.

“Hop in ladies.”

Mt. St. Helens: 3 hours later

Jackie and her sisters got out of the car at Windy Ridge. They walked on the paths a bit, to get a closer look into the mountains crater. Just then, Jackie caught a glimpse of something shiny. She turned around and saw her dad rushing at her. Out of no where Aubrey came up behind her with a sword. . . .

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Dang it all! Jackie thought to herself as she slowly began to wake up. She had wanted to know how that dream ended. Would they all die? Did Aubrey kill their dad? And why were there swords involved? The dream by itself made no sense to her at all.

Six years later:

Jackie woke up screaming. I've had this dream before she said to herself. But wasn't it Aubrey who had the sword? Why did Melonie have the sword this time? The dream still made no sense.

The dream would haunt Jackie for years. Everyone once in a great while she would think about the dream and what mysteries it held. Every six years, since the very first dream, this horrible nightmare would repeat itself and it always ended the same. One of her sisters with a sword andBEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Super Short Story #3

Kevin was a just a young child when his mother died. He never really found out how she had died. The orphanage that he spent most of his childhood at told him that she had fallen ill during the outbreak of 2910. Pretty close to a third of the Earth's population died in the outbreak. Some say it was the bubonic plague, while others said it was the small pox, and even more said it was God's wrath upon mankind for being so full of themselves.

Kevin was short for his age with golden hair and grey-ish eyes. His eyes shone with mischief and playfulness. These, of course, were not qualities that the orphanage wanted to see. They wanted obedience. Kevin learned at a very young age what discipline was. Each time he got a little too rowdy with one of the other boys he was whipped until his back bled. To his advantage, the scars on his back toughened his skin, so that he couldn't feel the onslaught of the whip.

It wasn't until he reached the ripe old age of 12 that he was sent out of the confines of the orphanage to seek work. Work was hard enough to find since the outbreak. Those that were strong enough were forced into cruel manual labor, at the docks mostly. Those who weren't so strong were sent to the capital where they were destined to a life of boring paperwork. There weren't any poor or homeless, the outbreak fixed that. In fact, rumors had it, that the outbreak was caused by the poor and homeless.

Kevin walked along, what used to be a train trestle, to get to town. As he approached the edge of town, a group of boys came upon him. They all seemed to be his age, their clothing were nothing more than rags, and they all seemed to be smoking. Not exactly knowing what he should do, Kevin decided that the best thing to do was to run. But, the gang of boys easily caught up to Kevin with ease.

“Hey kid,” the leader of the group shouted, “you looking for work? Because we have room for one more boy in our enterprise.”

“And what might that be?”

“You will just have to join to find out.”

So, with that, Kevin started his life of crime. It really kinda suited him, the thrill of the chase, the total lack of discipline, and constant money in his pocket. The gang was his family, his only source of support. The orphanage was a memory from a distant past.

When Kevin turned 15, everything started to get a bit testy. The gangs old haunting grounds were slowly starting to be patrolled by the centurions. Taken from the ancients, these men were known for their courage and brutality. No one got away from these men. A couple members of the gang had already been captured by the centurions. The only way the gang knew this – was because the boys' heads were mounted on spikes on the capital buildings green lawn. Yes, even the ancient ways of torture had been brought back into use, as the outbreak had torn through the Earth's inhabitants.

Kevin watched as his friends, one by one, were captured. What was he supposed to do? Go into hiding? What would he do for work? He looked around him, looking for his escape. He saw a little raft, he quickly made a dash for the raft. I made it, Kevin thought to himself. Just then, he heard the loud thundering bang of a gun going off. He pitched forward. Did I make it? Was his last thought as the darkness overwhelmed him.

Super Short Story #2

It was a strange place, he thought to himself. The sun high in the sky, scorching everything its rays touched. He had already been walking, what seemed to be forever. But, who really knew in this desert? He could've been going around in circles and he wouldn't even know it. He didn't come prepared for this. He was still dressed in his armor and chain mail. The metal absorbed all the heat of the mid-day sun. Under the armor he was very slowly dehydrating, especially since he hadn't thought of bringing water to the fight. Why would he? He didn't know he was going to end up in a desert.

It didn't occur to him that once he slayed the sharp-toothed dragon that it would some how transport him to this place. The dragon had been threatening his home town for years. Taking people away to devour them later, possibly as a midnight snack. The thing was huge but beautiful. That was its danger. It was the color of the rainbow, beautiful in appearance. Its fire lite the sky as it would approach the town. All the other knights refused to go and kill such a beast. Goodrich was the only one who had the courage to save the town.

Looking back, Goodrich didn't really know what persuaded him to be the one. He was starting to have second thoughts as his squires helped put his armor on. He was a big guy, standing at just under six foot and weighed at least a good 14 stone. The armor would add another four stone to that. He was to go out with no horse, which meant that walking was going to be a pain. “Sir! Its time to go,” the squires shouted as the day slowed drifted into night.

As he was about to leave, the squires brought him the special arrows need for killing the beast. They weren't just made out of the toughest metal known to man, they had the venom of the scorpion saturating them. His people were a very inventive people. They had survived many years trying to kill these beasts. He latched the quiver and bow securely to his armor as he strode out of the keep.

Everything seemed to slow as he approached the dragons home, a cave that extended to the shore (a 3 miles away from Goodrich's location). No one had ever made it out alive from this cave. Would he be the first? He stepped into the cave, forgetting to arm himself with a torch. But, he could tell where to go by the stench in the air. The smell of rotting flesh of all kinds assaulted Goodrich's nose. He had known what the beast ate but wasn't ready himself for the fact that he might end up being the next meal.

He turned a bend in the cave. The beast must have heard him coming. Goodrich could see its eyes, a very vibrant green with gold where it should have been white. He reached for an arrow and his bow. . . .

The mid-day sun was a surprise to him. Wasn't it just dark? And what is this crunching under my feet? He was sweltering underneath his armor. He took his helmet off, hopefully so he could see better. He looked around him. He was in a desert and the crunching beneath his feet were what remained of someones or somethings meals. Human skulls – white and gleaming in the sun smiled up at him in a mocking gaze.

This brought another question to his mind, where was the beast? He knew for sure that he had not gotten his shot off or did he? He walked farther, slowly dehydrating in the mid-day sun. He had no water, he wasn't expecting this.

He heard a noise behind me but he kept walking. “What are you doing, human? You came to kill me but are you man enough to do it? I am but the only one of my kind left...,” a strong voice said behind him.

“What am I to do, Master Dragon?” he said not even turning toward his foe.

“Look at me, human,” was the dragons response.

Goodrich turned towards what he was expecting, a huge beast – but in its place was a creature the size of a miniature scorpion. It was brightly colored, with the big vibrant green eyes with gold around them.

“Human, this is what I look like in the sun. Your species is my only threat. I change to what things around me picture me as. A shape shifter of sorts. I am virtually harmless, unless provoked. The skeletons surrounding you are the remains of those who were going to kill me, and I transported them here, and here they died looking for me. You seem smarter then the rest, Human. I will transport you back to your world if you promise never to come after me again. And, I will promise you that I will never go back to your village.”

Goodrich looked at the tiny being, still trying to comprehend what he was told. He bent down on one leg, reached out to the dragon. “Master dragon, I will promise you. We shall be friends, we shall.”

The dragon looked up into Goodrich's eyes, blinked, and vanished. Before he knew what was happening, Goodrich was lying in his bed, inside the keep. Was it just a dream?  

Family

How can one person single-handedly ruin a good night? Good question! You see, I have this allergy to latex. Yeah, I know...I've heard it all before. My little nephew's birthday is on October 30th, and I was told that there would be latex balloons. Nothing says, "we don't really want you there..." like that. Seriously? If you don't want me in your fuckin' life you should just tell me so! Don't go beating around the bush and fuckin' sugarcoat it. Just tell me straight out.
The person who said the adage that blood is thicker then water, definitely has not met my family. All the backstabbing and cold shoulders need to stop! Why did I post this on here? Because there is nowhere else for me to vent my disdain for certain family members without it coming back to bite me in the ass. Ok, so not disdain but you all know what I mean.

The social butterfly within

When I was growing up, I didn't get out much to play with friends or even go to their houses. My idea of hanging out was hanging with my fellow pep band buddies during the third quarter of a High School football game. This was just the way things were.
Now, I find that I have become that social person who is the life of the party. Not that I'm really all that cool, its because people can see that I'm different. I'm the genuine friend, the person who is always there to help out or even hang out for a while, or maybe even go to shows with. How did I make this transition? Because, God knows, that even a year ago I was spending every waking minute by myself or with my family. I, maybe, had three friends that lived near me. Now, I have a hell of a lot more then that.
What changed? I don't know but it works.

Long time no speak....

Its been a long time since I've written anything on here. So, lets just say that things have been interesting. Today's message is one of sheer loneliness. Sure, I'm normally a very happy person, full of stupid things to say so people will laugh. But, that clownish way, hides what is really going on inside. Just like bullies terrorize kids who are weaker then them to get the "self-respect" that they crave. Sure I laugh, but deep down I'm crying. If you could just look into my eyes you would be able to see that.
The weight of too many years of being the clown, ignoring my own depression, has pushed me past my own point of no return. Its times like these that make me want to just drawn in my sorrows. But, that isn't me. I've learned to "just keep swimming" or push past these moments because there will be good times once again. Not everyone can say this. My advice to these people? Learn where your boundaries are, learn to let go, and keep swimming towards shore.

Creatures of Habit

So, we have all heard enough of the supposed "rapture" that was supposed to have happened last Saturday. A crap load of people wasted their life savings, took up picket signs, and waited for Jesus to come down and hoist them up to the big cloud in the sky.

We, as human beings, are naturally creatures of habit. But, every time some preacher dude predicts the "end of the world", do we really have to believe him? Mr. Camping, had predicted the same thing almost 20 years ago. And yet, we believed him. What's to say that another 20 years from now, a Mr. Camping wannabe, will try to do the same thing.

We can predict all we want. But, in the end we have to remember one basic thing: fool me once, shame on you...fool me twice, shame on me.

The Past

We all have a past. Some of us have more of a past then others. This month holds some very tough memories from my past. May 18th will be my one year anniversary of divorce. May 8th would have been the birthdate of 1 set of twins, they would've been two years old this year. And, May 16th would have been the birthdate of the second set of twins, they would've been one year old. This month is going to be a tough one, with so much heartache. But, you know what? I don't have to go through this alone. Even though I cry by myself, that doesn't mean that others aren't mourning with me.

Super short story #1: The Nightmare

The tree branches and undergrowth stung her as she raced through the woods. The sound of her own foot steps echoing in the quietness around her. Her runners legs were no match for the cross country trek she was embarked upon. She glanced back towards where she had come from, searching in vain for the man who was hunting her.  The darkness seemed to pique her anxiety, her paranoia.
She stumbled into a clearing, her breath jagged and her pulse high. She looked around her for some escape route, some hiding spot. But, it was to no avail. As she caught her breath, she listened for footsteps or some other clue that he was coming. After a couple moments, she started running again, not really knowing where she was going or even knowing what the outcome would be.

A day earlier:

Jannelle's day started like any other day in her life. She woke up, got dressed, and ate some breakfast (which consisted a bowl of cereal).  She looked out through the kitchen windows to the "woods" that stood like an island between the house and the street. In the center of the "woods" was the small building that her father called his research lab. The small building was barely visible among the giant firs that sprouted up from the earth.  It was a place of mystery to her, even if she did work there. Beyond her cubbie hole of an office was a door that led into her fathers' lair, no one was allowed in there.
After Jannelle finished her breakfast, she walked out through the "woods" to her office, to wait for her father. It was the one thing during the day that she enjoyed doing, the one time that she could do what she wanted to do. She looked at the mountain of paperwork that she had to sort and file. When am I going to find the time to do all of this? She said to herself. Her desk was situated on the far back corner of the "sitting room" (why it was called a sitting room, she had no clue, because no one ever came to visit her father at work). The desk wasn't a big one; just big enough to hold her computer, a phone, and the paperwork. If she needed something copied, she had to go into the house to use the copier there.
Not long after she sat down, her father walked in. He was dressed in his usual black slacks, dress shirt, tie, lab coat, and his wire-rimmed glasses. He wasn't a tall man, standing at only about 5'8". He was a secretive man, but he had a temper on him. You never crossed him, never. Jannelle had learned this years ago, her sister Amelia had not.
"Your cousins, Abby and Anthony are coming over today, I would like you to give them a tour of my lab."
With that, Jannelle's father opened the door to his lab and walked in. She was completely surprised. He had never allowed anyone to come here, not even her mother was allowed (something about her mother not being able to keep secrets, or some such nonsense). She thought this kind of odd, but she start on the work that had to be done by the end of the day.

A couple hours went by when she heard a knock on the outside door. She opened the door and saw her cousins, she let them in.
"Just a moment guys, let me go get dad, then I can get you that tour," she said as she knocked on the door to her father's lab.
"Dad, Abby and Anthony are here!"
"Ok, I'll be right out."
Just then, her father opened the door and gave his neice and nephew a hug. He had a mischievous smile on his face as he looked back at the open door to his lab.
"Its ok, Jannelle, you can show them the lab," he said as he walked out of the building.
Thinking that this was even stranger, she gingerly motioned for her cousins to follow her. She walked into the lab, which seemed bigger than it was. The building itself was tiny, but this room seemed to be huge. The room was full of surgical equipment, a computer desk, two small windows, and a fire extinquisher. Just then, an odd smell assualted her nose. Just as soon as it registered, she saw Abby slide listless to the floor. Not long after, Anthony followed.
Jannelle ran through the door of the lab, and through the front door of the building. Was her father trying to kill them? If so, why? She hid behind one of the big firs, as she watched her father sneak into the building, until it was dark. Slightly intrigued, she walked around the building to one of the two small windows. She stood on a larger boulder that was conveniently placed by the window. What she saw horrified her.
She watched as her father put Abby on the surgical table (as far as she knew Abby was still alive), then she saw blood splurting everywhere. She felt her footing give way, was she reached for the window ledge. She got the window instead, just as she fell, she saw her father look up.
She got up, brushed herself off, and ran like hell. The tree branches and underbrush stung her as she raced through the woods. The sound of her own foot steps echoing in the quietness around her. Her runners legs were no match for the cross country trek she was embarked upon. She glanced back towards where she had come from, searching in vain for the man who was hunting her.  The darkness seemed to pique her anxiety, her paranoia.
She stumbled into a clearing, her breath jagged and her pulse high. She looked around her for some escape route, some hiding spot. But, it was to no avail. As she caught her breath, she listened for footsteps or some other clue that he was coming. After a couple moments, she started running again, not really knowing where she was going or even knowing what the outcome would be.
Why did it seem like the "woods" were neverending? It must be the drug that dad sprayed into the room, she thought to herself. She kept running, until the inevitable happened. She didn't see a tree root sticking up out of the earth because of the darkness, her foot got stuck, and she fell flat on her face. This was it, she said to herself. She tried to move but her ankle wouldn't give.
A figure slowly approached her. Her father didn't need to run after her, he must've known that. In his hand was a syringe full of something, as he came closer to her, he knelt down next to her.
"Don't worry, my dear, you won't feel a thing," he said has he stuck her with the needle and injected her with the fluid. . .

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
Jannelle jumped up off her bed and quickly shut off her alarm clock. Oh man, what a nightmare, she thought to herself, as she slowly caught her breath. She walked slowly to the bathroom (it was right across from her bedroom). After taking a hot shower, and dressing, she walked up the stairs to eat her breakfast. It was a school day, there would be no reason for her to still feel anxious and nervous.
She looked out the kitchen windows towards the "woods". She knew that there was no lab out there, no surgical tables, no nothing. But, the realness of the dream hit her hard. She walked out her front door, and started walking up the drive. She looked into the "woods", and if by instinct, she saw a flash of something moving. She ran the 1/4 mile to the bus stop, where the other kids were waiting for the bus.
Once the bus arrived, she stepped on and never looked back.

A start to something new

It all happened not too long ago, when I came up with this brilliant idea. Lets write a short story. The story was about Ally, an Irish immigrant and her Southern beau Adam. Based during the American Civil War, it is a novel based on history with a twist, reminiscent of a ghost story.  This short story has since turned into my first novel, which I am currently in the process of writing. Since then, I have written many poems and starting on several more short stories based on Ally's twin sisters McKenzie and Taylor. I may even do a prequel on their parents as well. 

 

Rain

I look through the windows

to see rain cascading down the eve's.

It reminds me of tears that used to

Stream constantly down my face.

As I picture all of this,

I see it all in perspective

That tears are there to cleanse away

The pain,

The hurt,

The tension.

- Jessica A. Clements Navarro (3-29-2011)

Ha! The joys of Ex's

It's amazing how people who you don't want in your life any more just happen to come out of the woodwork all at once. Yeah all but one of my ex's have charged their way back into my life, whether I wanted them too or not. Why is this, do you think? I don't normally allow ex's back into my life for one reason. That reason is: because there is a reason why they are ex's! My ex-husband cheated on me, so that makes him a flake. My ex-boyfriend in Colorado, refused to tell the truth about dating me...am I really that much of a secret?!?! And now my ex-boyfriend ditched me because of something that happened before we were together, so that makes him a flake. I don't know about you but I see a connection.

Why would I want these people back in my life? I'm not that nice of a person. Ok, so maybe I am. Especially when I inadvertently bought a ticket to the Dropkick Murphys show for my ex-boyfriend. And what do I get for that? A thank you and a hug. Hmmmm....makes me just want to strangle myself. But, its been done and there isn't much I can do to change it now. Are these boys going to help me with my life or are they just going to tear down my walls until I can't find myself in the shuffle?

Me

Well, since this is my first blog I should probably explain a little bit about me before I get started on my venting. I am 28 and currently living with my parents (yes I know, it seems to be the norm these days). I drive dump truck for my dad's construction business, and play bagpipes for a local punk band (that in itself is ironic, especially since I'm not really punk rock...I just love the music).

Now, with that all being said, I am only living with my parents until I can get back on my feet after a divorce that occurred almost a year ago. Again, with that being said, I should've known that things would get dicey. I know you can see where this is going (insert laughing here). Add the tension between me and my dad to an allergy to latex, what do you get? A very ugly situation. 

So, I am now looking for a place. I already have a roommate lined up and currently looking for work. Can life get any more interesting?